Monday, October 16, 2006

The heavier you get, the longer you may live-- if you're a superheavy element, that is.

Good ol' number 118 was synthesized and scientists hope they're close to getting a superheavy element that won't instantly fall apart into radioactive decay. The reasons for manufacturing and studying Number 118 are obscure and difficult to explain.

Fortunately, I have undertaken the herculean task of boiling down the complexities of scientific thought and motive into a single technical drawing. Please contact me if you have any questions after this, or your brain has simply fried from the information overload.

Wilbrod's drawing of element 118 as a large, green Incredible hulk, asking how long he must stay the Incredible Hulk. The scientists ringing him in the background say Until we get a full look! Yes, science requires careful study! Another face says Holey Moley! Some of the faces seem to be drooling. A dog wags its tail at a cat across the table Element 118 is standing on. The table is cracking badly under the weight of Element 118

Number 118, as it's code-named in the international world of chemical intrigue, is profiled to be a noble gas, being able to remain aloof from other atoms.
However, like a juggler with too many balls, heavier noble gases such as radon tend to drop a few scruples along with their electrons. In fact, you don't even want to know the names that radon gets called by the other elements. Houseowners who find radon in their house come close in general timbre, though.

So, Number 118, if it remains stable, may well find itself in compromising bonds with other elements, and thus get information extracted before he decays again. 007, we may have a job for you.

In other chemical news, soon periodic table-turners will be busy discussing the differences between bohrium and barium.

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